Loving Kindness.

What is it?

This practice originates from an ancient Buddhist tradition. It is about wishing well for yourself and others without expectation. The aim is to cultivate comforting emotions such as love, compassion, and joy.

I first learned about loving-kindness practices in Dr. Jud’s program called Unwinding Anxiety. After I got COVID for the first time and pushed through symptoms and fear for the following year, I experienced extreme anxiety along with panic attacks.

I tried this program to help with the anxiety. Although I did not fully resolve the anxiety until a year and a half later, when I discovered TMS mind-body work, this program taught me many valuable lessons and tools.

Dr. Jud has an exceptional background in both the study and practice of mindfulness, as well as a career in scientific research. He is very skilled at combining these two backgrounds and explaining ideas in an easy to understand way.

In the program, Dr. Jud first asked us to visualize a dear loved one walking in through our front door.

Can you pause and take a moment to visualize this?

Then he led us to greet them with a big hug, or however we would normally greet this loved one.

Take a few moments to allow yourself to imagine and feel the love of this embrace.

Next, he prompted us to turn this loving affection toward ourselves.

Can you practice this?

You might gently put your hands on your heart or give yourself a hug.

Then he invited us to do the same with loving-kindness affirmations, first imagining saying them to a friend and feeling the sincerity of this, and then repeating these words to ourselves.

You can begin with “May you be…” for your loved one, and then try the phrases for yourself.

Try thinking the words “May I…” on the inhale, and “…be happy” on the exhale.

Here are some more examples. You can add any that feel right to you:

“May I be happy.”

“May I be healthy.”

“May I be free from inner and outer harm.”

“May I feel free to be me.”

“May I feel safe.”

Sometimes, when we have a hard time believing something for ourselves such as “I am healthy” the words “May I” can help soften the experience. This wording can help us feel open to the possibility.

Practicing loving kindness still brings me a sense of calm. Often, when I am first falling asleep and experiencing an active mind, I shift to these loving-kindness words, along with “May I sleep peacefully,” and I fall right asleep.

Practicing loving-kindness towards yourself has been shown to 

boost health by reducing stress hormones (like cortisol), lowering inflammation, decreasing blood pressure, and increasing positive neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin) through oxytocin release.

When I recently asked one of my clients, what is something that you have learned since working together that brings you calmness?

She said, "Cultivating compassion & speaking to myself with compassion more often. I can tell this calms me and my nervous system as well. I speak with more compassion to myself. I internally embody the feelings of safety more."

-Elizabeth

As she shared, cultivating compassion brings a sense of calm to the nervous system and marks a beautiful, meaningful step in the healing process. Yay, Elizabeth!

With loving kindness to you all,

Please reach out with any questions you may have.

Alisha Braswell